If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
