if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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