dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
