and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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