SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How external is "for external use only"?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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