What a fucking waste of an outfit
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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