High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
