i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
