You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
