I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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