I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
