i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
