i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
