You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
