Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
