You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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