ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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