They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
should my penis look like a turkey
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
