I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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