just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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