I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
