Plan B is the new Plan A
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
