I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
