started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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