If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize