how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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