I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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