So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
