If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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