I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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