do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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