your thong is hanging out like whoa
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
