As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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