That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
