I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
