Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Too much gin, very little bucket
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
