Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
