Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All the doctor said was why
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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