He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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