I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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