went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
