After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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