Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
