did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
