a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
