Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
