Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
