Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
