Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
