New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
