the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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