Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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