you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
