Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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