I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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