Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
