saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
