Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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