You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
