There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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