so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
