love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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