At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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