so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
