you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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