Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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