Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
