i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
