brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
