that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
