i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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