Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
