Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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