She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
