he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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