My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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